Category Archives: Blog

Mommy you need a time out… said no person ever!

I know it’s because of the crazy world that we are living in (pandemic combined with post civil unrest) but I feel totally overstimulated by the end of the day. All the snacks, the meals, the questions, the games, the cleaning, the caring… the list goes on.

All I want to do is curl up in a ball and sleep! Eat all the chocolate and then sleep! My system is screaming at me that I am internalizing my stress and I cannot keep it up!

Just because we can keep calm, it doesn’t mean that our body is not feeling and responding to the stress.

Why as ladies (I’m totally generalizing and would be happy to be wrong), but why is taking time out for ourselves so hard? Why do we struggle to ask for help? For a break? For a rest? I often tell my husband he needs to remind me I need a timeout when I’m on the edge. But he says that I need to get better at taking the time I need. I get what he is saying BUT… I think I would feel less guilty if I was told to have a timeout 🤣 how crazy is that!?!

Asking for a timeout is not in my nature.

But the stress plays itself out in my body. I start clenching tighter in my body. My constipation flares up. My feet hurt. My brain gets foggy. And I cannot make decisions!!!! Decision fatigue becomes a real thing!

As the world around me calms down, I can tell my body and mind need a timeout. My mom-ing and wife-ing and life-ing would greatly benefit from a timeout.

Physically and mentally we cannot keep “going” all the time!

Our nervous system wasn’t designed to constantly be on the going. I’m hoping that in the next few days we all find some time and space to breathe and rest, to de-clutter our minds. A slow yoga class or a walk on the beach. A lie-in in the morning, followed by coffee in bed (without the kids).

Moms need timeouts too. I won’t judge you for taking one, in fact, I will cheer you on!

Go get some rest mama!

Let’s talk Caesarian Section Scars

Due to the placement of c-section scars we have seen these interfere with so many systems in a women’s body. The scar tissue is more than just the scar that you see on the surface of the skin. During a c-section the surgeon will cut through 8 layers of tissue to birth your baby. All of these layers then need healing.

The healing of all the different layers of tissue impacts all the muscle and tissue surrounding it. Scars tissue that is thick and fibrous and therefore cannot move much can cause issues with the deeper core muscles working correctly; this can lead to issues with incontinence, low back pain and pain with intercourse to name a few. We have even seen that working on the mobility of a c-section scar can dramatically aid in the healing of a diastasis recti.

I use a method of scar mobilisation called the McLoughlin Scar Tissue Release Technique. I also teach and encourage my postpartum moms to start on a process of scar desensitisation and mobilisation from as early as possible. Once fully healed your c-section scar should not cause you any pain or discomfort; not when wearing jeans, not when bumped by your toddler and certainly not when you are performing any exercise.

How is your scar? Have you touched it and moved it and applied pressure to it? Don’t neglect your scar mama; it’s healing is as important as any other healing you are currently doing.

Touch your Tummy

From the moment we realize we are pregnant we start rubbing our tummy, touching it protectively and caressing it lovingly. We are amazed and nervous at the change taking place in our body.

Yet, almost from the moment our baby is born our tummy changes from this sacred place to this “thing” we no longer recognize or even like!

Touch your tummy mama! It may look and feel and move differently but it is the same tummy that you used to love. It is the same tummy that protected and created space for your most precious possesion to grow and flourish.

Our postpartum body may never look the way it did pre-baby but that doesn’t mean we aren’t strong and beautiful! For 9 months the muscles of our abdominal wall stretched to make space. Our ribcage widened and our internal abdominal and pelvic organs got squished to create more room. Give your body some time to regain its tone and shape.

Understanding the changes that occur during pregnancy makes it easier to rehab them postpartum. I love working with new moms and explaining to them all that has changed and how we can make small changes to help the core regain its strength.

Take a moment and touch your tummy mama! Tell it that you still love it. And then give it the care it deserves by helping it to rehab properly.

What I learnt from Labour

As much as having a baby is a physical process (regardless of it being a natural delivery or a Caesarian section) I found that no one could quite prepare me for the emotional rollercoaster of it all. The ups and downs and the final spin as I held my new small human. The emotions of it all were crazy!

I remember spending so much time talking and planning about HOW I was going to have my baby when in fact there was so much that I could not control when the actual time came. In a moment something can change and our plan goes out the window. So for me the best way to remain in control was to be able to be flexible when another route was required.

I quickly learnt that labour requires mental flexibility.

When I step back and have a look at my motherhood journey the delivery itself pales into comparison to the amount of time and love that I have put into feeding, caring for and nurturing my babies. How we deliver doesn’t change how we mother and therefore shouldn’t affect how we feel about ourselves as moms!

However the baby comes out, labour is difficult; there is no easy route or choice. The goal is a happy and healthy mom and baby and that will look different for every mom.

Be kind to yourself mama!

In the “hello mom” sessions that I do with ladies postpartum, I find that there is so much healing that can come from talking out your birth story. Because things often progress so quickly (or are so intense), we don’t often get the time to sit down and process all that our bodies and minds have been through. Plus now we have a newborn that is requiring every last drop of our time and energy.

I encourage you to write it out. Allow yourself to go back there and feel that emotion again. If something didn’t go the way you had hoped then feel that grief and let it go.

Our bodies hold onto the trauma of birth until we return to it and deal with it.

As much as the labour is a really small piece of the story, it has a massive impact on our bodies going forward. Talking about our birth story and having a postpartum checkup allows us to move forward in a positive way; and recover both on a physical and emotional level.

My Second Birth Story

I really wanted to have a VBAC (vaginal birth after Caesarian). I wanted to give my body another opportunity to do what I knew it could. Things weren’t looking too good though so I was supposed to book a Caesarian the next day (Monday).

Then to my surprise my waters broke on Sunday night and contractions began. As I was attempting a VBAC, our gynae told us to get booked in as soon as labour began because I needed to be monitored closely. We dropped my daughter at her grandparents and got checked in. At 10pm I was 4cm dilated with strong, regular contractions.

4am Monday morning I was ready for the delivery room. At first the pushing didn’t go too well. His head seemed to be stuck in a similar position to his sister, but the gynae said let’s give it one last go, and if he wasn’t out in the next push we would do a Caesarian (the theatre team were already on standby).

I’ll never forget that feeling of pushing and feeling his little body “pop” out! It was pure relief! Every time I think about it all I can think is “Wow” our bodies are truly amazing!

Deciding to try for a VBAC is not for everyone. You really have to go in well informed and remain strong but flexible. I was only allowed gas for pain relief and I can remember sucking on that stuff like there was no tomorrow. I was also unable to move around a lot because of the constant monitoring so I pretty much laboured on my back, in the bed.

And you really need to trust your gynae. Trust their professional opinion, and trust that they have both your wishes and needs at the forefront of their minds at all times.

I am sure you have heard this at least once before, “There is no easy way to have a baby.” It’s so true. But what we can do and can control is our birth preparation. But that is for another post.

I love being able to share my successful VBAC story as it gives hope to ladies who are still yearning for a natural birth and then for others it helps them see that that may not be the right choice for them. I would love to hear your VBAC story if you have one.